Why should I give people what they want?

People often want a thing, believing (often unconsciously) that it will make them happy. As helping people get happy makes me happy, I often give people what they want. It often doesn’t make me happy … because my gift often turns out to be useless, as the person who got it, actually didn’t move an inch toward happiness. I have experienced too many wastes of time, money, effort …

It happens often because too many people rarely know for sure what they really need, and there are so many people who believe giving is essentially good.

If you are a compulsive giver, you are compelled to give whenever you see the slightest sign of pain. Just like a doctor, you sometimes give people  a pill which is known to cure a certain disease. Sometimes you just give them placebo. Sometimes you hit, and sometimes you miss.

A compulsive giver most often gives whatever a person wants, but does a patient always know which pill is the right one for him? By giving people whatever they want, you often poison them or don’t let them cope on their own.

Then what should I do when people want things from me and I really want them to be happy? Give them sugar-coated poison?

As I am a compulsive giver, which means I give on impulse, I should stop and think before giving. Well, yes, I don’t have time to do that if someone is drowning (or seems to be), but most often this is not the case.

I might not be the wisest person to always know best, but I am smart enough to make an educated guess – to find out what giving my gift might lead to.

It takes time, yes. Sometimes it’s easier to give – it’s faster, and you don’t bother think. But sooner or later it comes to you – the bitter feeling that you have wasted something. And the feeling of waste doesn’t make ME happy.



  1. Lucho said,

    September 10, 2007 at 4:50 pm

    Let me quote the Beatles:

    And anytime you feel the pain, hey Lyd, refrain,
    Dont carry the world upon your shoulders.


  2. lyd said,

    September 11, 2007 at 2:52 pm

    It’s not enough to quote it! You should sing it!

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